A Narrative Guide to The Sentry One Day Issue


Elijah Dale, Staff Reporter

The One Day Issue: https://yorktownsentry.com/category/one-day2022/

Part I: The Story

Despite today’s issue of the paper being the ‘One Day Issue,’ this story starts yesterday. I was sitting in a car with Ryan Thomas Cole, our esteemed head editor, discussing the excitement of the day ahead of us. He burst out laughing.

“I can’t believe [The Sentry] is publishing an article on the best games to play in class,” Cole said.

After a discussion as to the absurdity — almost impossibility — of the article, Cole ventured to find out who was writing the story.  He determined the soon-to-be author of the investigation into classroom time-passers to be, well, me.

The next morning, I sat in the back corner with unnamed male freshman staff member and VPN-expert Ian O’Neal. Despite my editor’s tardiness, the anticipation was piqued and all was well. 

Later, I conducted interviews and spoke with a teacher. Mid-third period, however, brought a devastating blow. Because our school is an extremely productive institution, and not a single student was playing, or has ever played, a video game during class time, the article needed to be changed.

For the next two hours, uncertainty ensued. Possibilities for articles covering gym students and the head editors surfaced.

I watched in a jealous frustration as reporters Fiona Shepherd, Lexi Olsen and Claire Stromseth (author of The Better Half of the Teacher’s Pet) left to document the best off-campus lunch spots or as senior Evelyn Lowen searched for cheap bagels and green gumballs. I joined a large posse of boys from The Sentry in their fashion-oriented interrogations. I still had no article.

I tramped the halls looking for fellow reporters, eventually sitting for a seating discussion with Celeste Wetmore and co-head editor Philip Blumberg. I casually observed as Carrie Finn spied on Junior Class President and local celebrity Sebastian Morales-Talero. I brought a cupcake to Josh Allman, who at the time was sorting through Wiedz’s trinkets with Molly Kaplow (At the time, I was confused as to why Molly was there. I believed she was writing about parking spots then, though I later learned she had finished her article quite early. I enjoyed her company nonetheless.) We discussed Wiedz’s brilliant purple bookshelves. Still article-less, and more defeated than ever, I returned to Patriot Hall, the home base for today’s One-Day-Issue. 

Upon my return, Wiedz pushed me again to talk to gym teachers, a fleeting attempt at productivity. I maneuvered (M-A-N-E-U-V-E-R-E-D, word from the official Lohmeyer Spelling Bee) my way to the gym, where I would soon find the doors to be locked. I  knocked on the doors, but the teachers were busy and scolded me. At that moment, I decided I was done with the day. Moping, I dragged my feet back to Patriot Hall once again and plopped myself at the feet of our two glorious leaders, who at the time were debating pancakes (a discussion sparked by Eva Smith’s mission to find hot takes within our school’s student body). 

Before I had the chance to discuss new article ideas, once and future music critic Matthew Wagner took the class’s full attention. He held the holy grail — A signed Zito clock. Now, you must be asking yourself what a signed Zito clock is. So am I. To this day (It is the same day, to be clear), I grapple with what — or why — a Zito clock is. The clearest answer I’ve received is that a signed Zito clock is a clock courtesy of world famous world history teacher Ryan Zito.

I should get back on track. It is the climax of this epic story, of course. We debated several other story ideas, among them a day in the life of Dr. Clark and the anomalous quantity of renowned journalists on our school’s substitute teaching staff. After these ideas proved fruitless, I groaned in exasperation.

“Can I just write about how I can’t write an article?” I said.

Part II: The Interview

One objective of this article was to highlight the other, more successful articles of the One-Day Issue. I, however, failed to highlight Corrine “Coco” Rigoli’s fantastic article. As an apology, I will be interviewing her and providing a full transcript of that interview below. 

What was your original article today?

“It was on the chair shortage for C lunch.”

Did you write that article?

“I wrote the first check for it, but I had trouble getting interviews because C lunch wasn’t until later in the day and I didn’t have time to write articles. They changed it to the preferred music apps at [our school].”

Do you like your finished article?

“Yes. It was kind of rushed though, because I was a little behind everybody else, but I like it.” 

What is the best music app?

“According to the students I interviewed, it was Spotify.”

What was the worst?

“There were only two responses, Spotify and Apple Music, and so the worst was Apple Music.”

Do you agree with that?


So rant about how much Apple Music sucks for as long as you can.

“Well, it’s harder to share music with people, you have to buy some songs, it’s harder to make playlists, it’s harder to search up other people’s playlists and it doesn’t make recommended playlists for you. They’re very similar apps otherwise.”


Part III: The Quote Wall

As student journalists, it is our duty to document the current events at our school. That includes the wildest quotes from our own classroom. Thus, in a colorful corner of Wiedz’s classroom lies the The Sentry quote wall. Though no one else acknowledges or realizes this, I view myself as the caretaker of the quote wall, as I have documented most quotes from the current school year. So when Wiedz started a Sentry Quote Wall dedicated exclusively to the One Day Issue, I wanted to add these quotes into my story, which documented my experiences with the issue. The quotes are below.

“I just spent 20 minutes taking pictures of chairs” – Alexander Zur

“I already have the whole (Chesapeake Bagels) menu memorized,” – Evelyn Lowen

“I’m stepping outside to contact drip candidates,” – Miles Mann

“We went 20 minutes without a problem” – Philip Blumberg

“Wow, that’s a rough angle” – Matthew Wagner

“Did you just call me Philip?” – Philip Blumberg

“I was reading this article, actually it wasn’t an article, it was a TikTok,” – Josh Allman