In the life of a high school student, there are few things as convenient as the ability to drive yourself to school. The freedom that comes with being able to come and go on your own schedule, carpool with other friends, and hit Micky D’s on the way home is truly a hallmark of the high school experience. Even still, things can quickly go sour for the ambitious high school driver as a result of any number of factors. Perhaps you parked at the back of the senior lot and find yourself stuck in a slow-moving line of cars that takes half an hour to escape, perhaps your usual parking space was stolen by an even newer driver who arrived even earlier, or perhaps you just got rear-ended by the idiot in the 2001 Ford Explorer with a missing tail light and removed muffler. Either way, you are now left seething with rage and wondering how you could have been so foolish as to let such a thing happen.

Whatever driving-related misfortune has befallen you at school, rest assured – there is a solution! Through making smarter choices about parking, you can save yourself from having to suffer at the beginning or end of every school day. Whether your previous parking conundrums have been the result of traffic, high demand for parking, other people who have no right to be behind the wheel or any other factors, your new expertise in parking will hopefully eradicate any further difficulty you might face. With that being said, here are, in descending order, the five best parking spaces around Yorktown.

Number Five: Rear of the Senior Lot Facing the Fields – Center Right Side

While the senior lot is infamous for its end-of-day traffic jams, any optimistic student will be able to make the best of an otherwise infuriating situation by parking at the rear of the lot facing the fields. While the other drivers in the lot honk and scrape against each other as they slowly crawl towards the exit, you and your passengers can sit idly by and wait out the traffic in the lot, all the while watching the softball or baseball team practice. Maybe it is not the most exciting experience, but it is preferable to having your side mirror knocked clean off your car by that one guy that tries to get out before everybody else. Exact Geographic Coordinates: 38°54’06.7″N 77°08’28.5″W

Number Four: Front of Senior Lot Facing the Gym – Closest space to the Basketball Courts

Once again, it is obligatory to mention the notorious senior lot traffic, but here again is a fantastic parking space for the location. After exiting door number 8 to go out to the senior lot and crossing the shorter concrete pathway into the lot, you will pass directly in between two spaces at the end of the pathway. For some, these spaces might seem unassuming and uninteresting, but for the parking master, they are clearly a godsend. If you were to take the space to your right, the northernmost space in the lot, and then back into it so as to put your driver’s-side door on the side of the dividing line, you would then have the shortest trip into the safe, air-conditioned sanctuary of your car of any other Yorktown student! Exact Geographical Coordinates: 38°54’07.6″N 77°08’27.8″W

Number Three: Little Falls Road – Intersection of Little Falls and Yorktown Boulevard

While the senior lot is a convenient location for members of Yorktown’s senior class, juniors and sophomores are still left without many parking options. Competition along frequented parking locations like Yorktown Boulevard is fierce, but other, nearby roads are still often viable options. One of these roads is Little Falls, particularly at the intersection with Yorktown Boulevard, where there is often a parking space or two available throughout the day. While the portion of the street closest to the school often fills up by about 8:05 every morning, there is always the option of driving a little bit further until parking becomes available. If better options are not available, parking on Little Falls is always a solid decision, even if it means making the 5-minute walk to and from the school building. Exact Geographical Coordinates: 38°54’15.0″N 77°08’31.4″W

Number Two: Literally Just Walk, the Earth is Dying.

While driving to school is nice, you would really be doing the planet a favor if you walked, biked, or carpooled. Avoiding being behind the wheel when going to school might do you a few favors in terms of not having to deal with parking difficulties, as well as keeping Mother Nature from having to choke and gag on your vile, disgusting carbon monoxide emissions. Perhaps it is not the fun choice, but it is the responsible one.

Number One: Those Spaces in the Middle of the Senior Lot That Face the Exit

To say it once again, the senior lot has terrible traffic; but what if there was a way to avoid it? The answer to doing so lies in finding those few golden spaces in the senior lot that directly face the exit. From one of those bad boys, it’s a clear shot to freedom, and leaving the senior lot is as easy as stomping on the gas and zooming out of the lot before traffic has a chance to build up. Make no mistake, these spots are highly coveted amongst Yorktown’s parking aficionados, so securing a spot requires a parking master to be quick, cunning, and punctual. Make sure to arrive by 7:50AM at the absolute latest – even earlier is better. While waking up early might seem like more trouble than it is worth, just imagine how it will feel to go flying out of the senior lot, unimpeded by traffic. No other feeling in this world could ever compare.

Exact Geographical Coordinates: 38°54’06.2″N 77°08’27.3″W