It is that time of the year again: time for overpriced deals from stores laughing in the faces of shoppers who did not make it for their Black Friday extravaganza… and the time for annoying music. Along with all the joys that the holiday season brings, it also brings a lot of groans from people annoyed from hearing the same Christmas song for the third time in the past twenty minutes. Over the last few years, holiday music has been experiencing a resurgence. The travesty is that artists who have other people write their songs for them, sing age-old Christmas jingles–written by someone else trying to put what they think is a creative spin on them. Listeners can now hear those new art forms on select radio stations that have no purpose other than playing Christmas songs. Now in this new age and old age of music, also comes with a whole new list of annoying songs.
By far one of the strangest and most annoying Christmas songs is sung by famous Country Singer, John Denver. Denver thought it was somehow a good idea to call his song “Please Daddy.” “Please Daddy” consists of a young boy begging his dad not to get drunk on Christmas and hurt his mother’s feelings. The song repeats lyrics over and over, only adding in new lines towards the middle of the two minutes and 39 seconds of the song. One can only wonder if this musical number was based on Denver’s childhood, and if the lyrics represent his relationship with his father; so it is undeniable he did not have the best one, which one can sympathize with. However, regardless of his past, it is certain that this song is a pain for the ears to listen to and should not be played on the radio or by anyone wanting to get into the holly jolly Christmas spirit.
Modern singers have often tackled classic Christmas tunes with good success. Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas” has arguably become the definitive version of the age-old song fans have since fallen in love with. On the other hand, a contemporary artist can dip their toe into the pool Carey cannonballed into, and can quickly be thrown out for splashing in the pool. Maroon 5 splashes the pool when they tried to cover John Lennon’s classic, “Happy Christmas”. When singing, Adam Levine comes across as a young teenager who has not fully completed puberty, singing a holiday mainstay on a karaoke machine at his Grandma’s Christmas Party. Levine does not have the vocal range Lennon possessed, and his attempt at the song comes across as flat and almost laughable.
Few people know of cult-favorite musician Tiny Tim’s attempt at making Christmas music. Tiny Tim somehow thought it was a good idea to create a song titled “Santa Claus Has Got The AIDS”. The song is extremely poorly produced with Tiny Tim’s voice cracking several times and his famous ukulele seems to be somewhat out of tune. The lyrics go on to suggest provocative things about the childhood hero that make the listener feel uncomfortable and wonder why anyone thought it would be a good idea to make a song like this. One could argue he was trying to bring awareness to the HIV epidemic that was going on in the ’70s as the song was produced something in the late ’70s to early ’80s, but after listening to the song it is clear Tiny Tim is mocking the fatal disease and no form of education was meant to come from this song at all.
Words cannot describe how cringey and painful it is to sit through and listen to the entirety of the Spice Girl’s take on the Christmas song, “Christmas Wrapping”. The English Pop group consisting of Mel B., Victoria Beckham, Melanie C., Geri Halliwell, and Emma Bunton, sing the equivalent of a bunch of fifth graders who were forced by their overbearing parents to join the elementary school chorus. The song feels awkward and uncomfortable. In your free time, I highly recommend you watch the music video, as it adds a whole new layer of hilarity to the song.
Mullet country singer star Joe Diffie stepped into the ring and wrote possibly the strangest tale of a reindeer in a Christmas song ever in his very own, “Leroy the Redneck Reindeer”. “Leroy the Redneck Reindeer,” tells the story of how Rudolph fell sick on Christmas Eve and had to call his cousin, Leroy, and ask him to guide Santa’s sleigh. The song provides a genuine laugh at the sheer stupidity of some of the lengths Diffie goes to too portray Leroy as a redneck, providing some extremely funny dialogue from him. When studying the lyrics there might go as far to assume that Diffie was trying to speak out about the judgment places on rednecks and the unfair assumptions that were made about them, but after viewing the music video it is clear that Diffie’s along with the bandwagon that laughs while pointing at people labeled rednecks and thinks poking fun at them is enjoyable.
Christmas songs are like a bowl of chili: they can either be very good or very bad. Recently Christmas tunes have been trending in a downward direction, and it will take something very special to change trend down.
