No matter your qualms with our school’s parking, there is no denying that some of the cars our school’s students drive are incredibly cool. However, on the other end of that are some of the most unsightly, monstrous, repellent, reptilian, displeasing and disagreeable cars this side of the earth has to offer. No offense, of course.
Ford Explorer-While not inherently ugly, these cars mimic a police car, automatically making them one of the worst. Nothing is worse than going a little over the speed limit and seeing one of these cars tailing right behind you. If you drive one of these, just know that you’re constantly giving people mini heart attacks.
Tesla-This one isn’t necessarily the owner’s fault, but unfortunately driving anything made by Elon Musk is going to put you on this list.
Nissan Leaf-While a likeable car because of the environmental benefits, this car loses because of its scary similarity to a human face. It feels like you’re being stared down and judged with its headlights that look like human eyes. All love to you, but please please please stay away from me.
Range Rover-These cars belong on some muddy road in North Carolina, not the pristine roads of the senior lot.
Mitsubishi-Call me nitpicky, but these cars annoy me with their weird red light that sticks out. I get it, you’re braking. There’s no need for it to be shoved in my face.
Any type of Jeep-These cars are not only proven to be unsafe on the roads, but also tend to be driven by the worst drivers known to man. Everything about these cars, from their impractical doors to duck displays, is incredibly off-putting.
Porsche-Good for you if you’re able to afford this car, but driving it to school is kind of insane. Considering the chaos that is the senior lot and Yorktown parking in general, driving this seems like too much of an unnecessary risk.
Prius-These cars are terrible because… KIDDING. If you drive a prius you are automatically superior to everyone ever. There is no debate: Priuses (Prii?) are without a doubt the best cars to ever grace Yortkown’s presence. Especially red 2009 models, which I’ve heard are the best the market has to offer. This is coming from a completely unbiased source who happens to appreciate art when she sees it.
No matter what you drive, we’re all contributing to climate change. Maybe the best cars are the walks we take along the way.
