Santa’s 2022 Naughty List

Claire Stromseth, Diversity, Equity and Inclusion Coordinator

It’s that time of year again. Lights are lining rooftops, stockings are being hung up and Christmas trees are being hauled onto cars. This can only mean one thing: Santa Claus is back in business. The North Pole’s rumor mill is running rampant as one question travels through Santa’s workshops—who is on this year’s naughty list? 

Folks, 2022 has had some good moments, but some things have held this year back from reaching its full potential. The following is a list of people and things that have continually been a source of pain for many.

Crocs

As we near the end of a pandemic, an epidemic seems to have risen from the trenches: the trenches being 2015 and the epidemic being crocs. They feel like rubber, and they have holes that expose feet; why are crocs making a comeback? 

College emails

To all that are not enduring the long, overbearing process that is college applications: emails from colleges are not the ego-boost one might think they are. Not only do they crowd inboxes, but they give our fragile minds the false hope of being wanted. Stop pretending. We know. Words of “we want you,” or “you are the type of student we are looking for,” are all just ploys to make us fork over application fees. The question should be: why should students want you? Send us the facts or maybe a nice pros and cons list. Then we can talk.

Vecna

With the release of Stranger Things season 4 came the release of the now infamous monster Vecna. Vecna attempts to destroy the world by merging it with the upside-down, but the worst part is, he couldn’t even get the job done in one season. The audience waited months only to find that some of the show’s beloved characters had been paralyzed or killed off. Not only is he responsible for chaos and death, but I think we can also deem him responsible for the overplaying of Kate Bush’s Running Up That Hill. Good song. Great song even. That doesn’t change the fact that we are all incapable of hearing it one more time. 

Elon Musk

Although Twitter has been on the downfall for years, nothing expedited it faster than getting purchased by Elon Musk. Along with contributing to the growing amount of false information, such as his conspiracy around the recent attack of Paul Pelosi, Musk continues to be inconsistent with his takes on free speech and what should be allowed on his platform. He also fired half of Twitter’s staff, making him responsible for thousands of job losses, yet he somehow remains surprised as he fails to gain the trust of other companies in his struggles with advertising. 

Single use plastics

Courtesy of our popular AP Environmental Science teacher Mr. Brown, single use plastics have made Santa’s naughty list. Accordingly, it would be daft not to include one of climate change’s worst perpetrators in a 21st century naughty list. These plastics stay in the environment for thousands of years and refuse to biodegrade. Instead, they break down into micro plastics that contaminate our food and pollute our water. This being said, I wouldn’t be surprised if these culprits continue to make naughty lists for years to come.

Ticketmaster

With Taylor Swift announcing her upcoming tour and ticket sale under Ticketmaster, no one could have predicted the mess that was to come. Millions of people were let down as Ticketmaster was unable to handle the surge of fans who wanted tickets—selling out all the tickets in the presale section of the sale. This botched sale led to this growing company’s trust to be called into question. The company’s ethics were first disputed when it merged with Live Nation in 2009. Ticketmaster’s continued actions that shamelessly take money from artists and fans have senators calling for the separation of these two companies, lessening the monopoly-like power they currently hold.

Miles Mann 

To end our list, one of our very own head editors takes the cake. Adamant in his anti-Christmas spirit, Mann takes pride in spoiling holiday cheer. He is The Sentry’s very own self-proclaimed grinch. To be a grinch is one thing, but to call yourself one: oh boy. And what might be worst of all, he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. Hypocritically, he seems to take no guilt in receiving a gift from our annual “Super Secret Sentry Santa.” Well Miles, Santa can see through the holiday issue; expect the bottom of your tree to be empty this year.