Spartobama 300
“One of the funniest things I’ve heard on the debates this year is that Carly Fiorina said she would bring back the warrior class,” said senior William Chadwick.
While Fiorina was talking about five military leaders that supposedly resigned after policy disagreements with President Obama, it does indeed sound as if she wants to make a branch of the military that resembles the Spartacus series, complete with helmets containing plumes of horse-hair.
Bush Mentions Wild Youth Glory Days
“The funniest thing was when Jeb Bush said that he smoked marijuana 40 years ago,” said senior Elizabeth Romano.
Yes, he did. He also mentioned that his mom watching was probably not very happy about it.
Fiorina later used him as an example, saying that “the marijuana that kids are smoking today is not the same as the marijuana that Jeb Bush smoked 40 years ago,” and warned that the drug could open a gateway for other addictions. Ironically, there are theories that George Washington and Thomas Jefferson grew hemp, though not necessarily for recreational use. Perhaps Bush was just looking up to his predecessors.
The Ben Carson Traffic Jam
“I thought it was funny when Trump saw that Carson wanted to be last out, and then waited until Carson left, which held up everyone from entering the podium area,” said junior Andrew Rehr.
At the late January GOP Debate in New Hampshire, Ben Carson stood silently in the wings, waiting to walk on the stage. ABC’s hosts announced him first. He stood. They waited. Ted Cruz was announced. Carson awkwardly stepped forward. Cruz emerged from behind the curtain and gave Carson a “Hey man, it’s my turn” pat on the arm, Carson stayed put, major traffic jams ensued. When Trump emerged for his grand entrance, he decided to stay put as well. The more the merrier! Finally, Carson and Trump each had their own extra introduction after all the candidates had filed out– that is, except, for lone John Kasich, who was forgotten until Chris Christie blurted out, “What about Kasich?” It is unknown as to whether Carson simply failed to hear his name being called, or if he and Trump decided to adopt the classic “a queen is never late, everyone else is simply early” mindset. Regardless, the mix-up gave Stephen Colbert plenty of material to work with.
Blaming the Moderator
“Number one, I think it’s pretty funny sometimes when arguments break out between the candidates and the moderator. I just think that it adds some fun, awkward TV moments. I also like it because it shows that the candidates aren’t scared to fight back, which is a strong quality to have because you want your future president to be strong-minded and argumentative,” said senior Kathleen Herrlein.
It is not always easy to get a word in during a debate, especially when certain politicians get to speak for what seems like hours, yet others are doomed to be slightly irrelevant from the start. This seclusion syndrome has hit those to the likes of Ted Cruz, Chris Christie, and Martin O’Malley, yet some seem to take it harder than others. Prior to the Republican Debate in Colorado in October, it was agreed that each candidate would be allotted 60 seconds for each answer. However, during the actual debate, a combination of the candidates ignoring the time limits and the moderators failing to enforce them led to a large imbalance in talking time. Former governor Mike Huckabee decided he had enough, lashing out at the moderator and saying, “Let me finish! This is the only time I’ve had a chance, let me finish!” It was a rational argument, even if the way he wagged his finger while saying it created the humorous illusion of an angry pirate.
When Bernie Doesn’t Hold Back
“Bernie Sanders seems like someone I can relate to in life. I think his comments [in the debates] are funny but some people could take them as an offense,” said sophomore Emily Brooks.
At 74, Sanders does not have time for gentle remarks. Whether people agree with him or not, he has some sizzling one-liners, complete with pauses in all the right places and passionate hand gestures. “It amazes me how we can elect a President of the United States, somebody like Trump… who believes that climate change is a hoax invented by the Chinese,” said Sanders at the Democratic debate in South Carolina in late January. And that statement equally rivals his spew at Hillary Clinton regarding repeated attempts by the moderators to talk about her email scandals. “The American people are sick and tired of hearing about your damn emails!” he said, sounding similar to a grandpa scolding his cat for being outside too long in the cold.
Supporters and rivals alike will want to stock up on aloe products, since Sanders’s “berns” really do “bern.”
