We all remember when Buddy the Elf accused a toy store Santa Claus of sitting on “a throne of lies.”  And almost everyone has heard those rumors about kids who try to rip off Santa’s beard in front of a crowd of shocked children and frustrated elves, or the kids who throw up on Santa’s suit. But are these stories really true? The only way to find out is to ask Santa himself. After interviewing Santa Claus at Tysons Galleria and using careful investigative journalism, I was able to clear up some common misconceptions and questions about the real Santa.

When asked about the validity of these stories, Santa Claus responded that the people who really embarrass themselves are often the parents. According to Santa, parents will say the “darndest things” to get their kids to smile for a Christmas card.

“The kids are being good on my lap and the parents are back by the camera jumping up and down acting like three year olds, just goofy and crazy. Today, we actually had a mom jumping up and down, pulling on her ears and wiggling her fingers,” said Claus.

However, Santa still has plenty of funny stories about children that have come to visit him over the years with some interesting requests.

“I would say the funniest thing a child has asked me for so far this year is a snake,” said Claus.

After carefully considering the question of the best moment in his many years of granting wishes, Santa could not decide on just one favorite memory.

“I’ll give you a generalization. Children are wonderful,” said Claus.

To clear up the pressing question of the number of suits he owns, Santa laughed and admitted that he owns quite a few.

“Every so often you may see I’m changing between suits and there might be a slight color shade difference between them. My favorite suits are the ones with real fur,” said Claus.

Santa declined to pick a favorite reindeer, comparing this to asking a parent to pick their favorite child. However, after an uncomfortable moment in which this reporter was unable to correctly name every reindeer,  Santa was happy to provide some exclusive information about the history of the reindeer and specifically the well known Christmas song, “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.”

“When the song Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer first came around, people had trouble saying the name Donder in song, so they changed it to Donner. Donder, the original name, is Dutch for thunder, and Donner is German for thunder,” said Claus.

Some advice for future visitors to Santa: never approach him without being well-versed in the names of all his reindeer.